A wide, deep sadness
Recalling a lifetime of pain
Awash
Pulled back into the bereftness
That wounded girlchild
Unwanted
Left resourceless
In the dark
Never to care for her
He’s gone
Never to soothe her or protect her
The finality staggering
The ideals constructed in his absence
Sending her seeking over the decades
Finding only more neglect
The futility subsiding into ambient forlornness
The pain, the anger, the wanting
O my heart
Tender as the pain permeates
Opening to the depths
The thud of the coffin lid
Closing
Sealing away
Love and pain both, so it seems
Burning density
Triggers ideas of overwhelm
Keeps me small
And in need of external support
Swinging from heart sadness to sorrowful anger
How could he have left me there?
Unequipped to meet the danger
Crushed, broken, innocence ripped asunder
Holding all that
Feel the wanting
Feel the unforgiving heat
Nothing to do
His a loner’s life
The rocket scientist
His brilliance his priority
Love ever unfulfilled
With compassion comes love
With love comes true competence, true capacity
Undaunted
The father within
May he rest well
Couched in oblivion
Released
May he rest well